by Gail Lowe
I am in the process of taming my dragon.
I write while it’s sleeping or preoccupied with some other dragon-worthy pursuit. But eventually, it pins its fiery gaze on my work and burns words to ash. Rubbish, it snorts, slinking back into its cave, leaving me to wonder why I ever thought I could be a writer in the first place.
What my inner dragon doesn’t realize is that these soul-searching moments are fortifying my resolve to face my biggest critic. Myself. If I can do that, then I will be better equipped to face any other critic I encounter on the road to Writerville.
I’m not against criticism. Constructive feedback is essential to growth. It’s the criticism that comes from a place of limitation that’s harmful. The self-talk that keeps you small. This is what needs to stop. Or as my mom says: If you can’t say something helpful then zip it.
So how do you zip those inner thoughts?
Know a Lie When You Hear It
Know a Lie When You Hear It
My dragon lies. In fact, my dragon is a big fat liar! Once I started to challenge the truth behind those thoughts, the emotional response fell away.
Redirect Your Thoughts
I became the observer of my thoughts. As a result, most times I can stop the negative spiral and get to the truth. My writing is better than it once was but less than what it will be. I am a work in progress. Choosing to focus on what I’m doing right while keeping future goals in mind changed the game. Now when my dragon throws a haughty breath in my direction the fire extinguisher is already primed.
Accept Uncertainty
Every time I step outside of my comfort zone I open myself up to internal resistance. My dragon doesn’t like uncertainty. It prefers the comfort of its risk-free predictable cave, and it doesn’t help that my dragon has a very long memory of things that didn’t go exactly as planned. It loves the “I-told-you-so” moments. These are when the routine of writing keeps me grounded. As long as I am doing the work, I feel like my compass is set. Like a well-prepared Indiana Jones, pushing past self-imposed limits into the unknown.
Learn the Power of the Shush
When my dragon is particularly bossy, I pull the Dr. Evil shushing thing from Austin Powers. My dragon roars. I shush. It tries again and I shush. I start to think I’m the funniest and most ridiculous person in the world and I laugh that dragon right out of my head. Thank you Austin Powers.
Ultimately, what I want is a peaceful co-existence with my dragon. Tame doesn’t mean extinguished. If it has something useful to say, then I will listen. After all, every writer knows the value of a good critique partner.
