On Monday, a dear friend died. He was young, and vibrant, and full of kindness and love and light. He had been sick for a while, but as prepared as you think you can be, you’re never actually prepared to never see someone again. Never prepared for your time with them to be cut short.
Time. A concept that’s been weighing on my mind lately. I’ve forever been obsessed with fantastical creatures – vampires and werewolves and warlocks – a collection of beings who do not age, or die, or sleep. And perhaps now, in light of my friend’s passing, I understand myself a little better. Our twilights are limited in number. Perhaps the true fantasy is having all the time in the world – an eternity to make my mark.
My friend’s death has made me acutely aware of how quickly time slips through our fingers. How abruptly it can be stolen, snipped and tied by giant Fate wielded scissors. And I worry. What if I don’t have enough time to do all the wondrous and incredible things I was made to do in this life? What if I want lazy Thursday nights with my husband where we drink too much wine and watch dumb TV AND want to finish writing that novel AND read all those books AND teach yoga AND have a fulfilling career in business AND friends and travel and magic and astrology and dancing and Netflix and tarot and horses and parties and boats and fitness and meditation and cake and – there’s so much life to be lived. So much to be experienced. And we only have so much time.
We lost Chadwick Boseman on Friday. Another snip of those scissors. A friend sent me something he once said:
“You have to cherish things in a different way when you know the clock is ticking, you are under pressure.”
The clock is ticking for each and every one of us. The only true constant, the single indisputable fact of the universe: we will all die. And perhaps that is the point. Perhaps, if we had all the time in the world, if our clocks were not ticking, we wouldn’t be so frantic to fill every minute to bursting with as much joy and friendship and love as we can. Maybe, without that reminder, we would forget the point. We would cease to make any kind of mark at all.
We must cherish things in a different way when we know the clock is ticking. We are all under pressure.
The time is now.
