{"id":150,"date":"2021-07-05T10:01:09","date_gmt":"2021-07-05T16:01:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/?p=150"},"modified":"2021-07-05T10:01:09","modified_gmt":"2021-07-05T16:01:09","slug":"stop-judging-from-the-gap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/stop-judging-from-the-gap\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Judging From the Gap"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Gail Lowe<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many hidden ideals do you have in your life that keep you from feeling like a success?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They hide behind sneaky little self-judgements like I didn\u2019t get all the laundry done, or I only exercised twice this week, not four times like I swore I would<\/em> after eating popcorn and an entire package of Swedish Berries.  It doesn\u2019t seem to matter that I got 90% of the laundry done or that I worked my butt off all week and deserved a splurge of delicious red calories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still struggle with a sinking feeling of not measuring up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s all because I have been viewing my life from the \u201cgap\u201d.  The space that exists between where I am and where I think I should be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been eye-balling those ideals of achievement daily and ignoring the daily progress of ME, showing up.\u00a0 Sometimes simply getting out of bed in the morning is one heck of an achievement when your last trip to the bathroom was at 3:30 a.m. and for some mysterious reason you\u2019re still awake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately the topic of the gap and the gain has started showing up on my radar.  I was immediately comforted by the concept of measuring my progress by how far I\u2019ve come instead of how far I have left to go.  Think of driving cross country with your kid in the back seat asking over and over \u201care we there yet\u201d.  With that kind of pressure the miles keep growing and you feel like you\u2019ll never arrive.  This is exactly what we do to ourselves when we measure against our ideals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Where do those ideals come from in the first place?  Quite often it\u2019s from looking at the success of others and measuring ourselves against that.  But we all have different lives and what works for me isn\u2019t necessarily going to fly in your world.  Measure your own progress from your own starting line.  Keep heading in the direction of your own finish line and believe that showing up is what\u2019s important.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m on the lookout for the hidden ideals in my life.  The ones that don\u2019t make sense and the ones that make me unhappy.  I\u2019m willing to let the laundry ideal go to make space for writing.  Popcorn once a week is reasonable and I don\u2019t do penance afterwards.  I have created starting lines so I can measure my progress towards the things I want to achieve.  My finish lines move around but I\u2019m the one moving them, not the experts I have never met, no matter how much I admire their achievements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I want a t-shirt now that says \u201cStop Judging from the Gap\u201d.  Every time I look in the mirror it will remind me to feel the Gain, not the Gap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How many hidden ideals do you have in your life that keep you from feeling like a success?They hide behind sneaky little self-judgements like I didn\u2019t get all the laundry done, or I only exercised twice this week, not four times like I swore I would after eating popcorn and an entire package of Swedish Berries. It doesn\u2019t seem to matter that I got 90% of the laundry done or that I worked my butt off all week and deserved a splurge of delicious red calories. – Gail Lowe<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"STOP JUDGING FROM THE GAP\nby Gail Lowe\n\nHow many hidden ideals do you have in your life that keep you from feeling like a success?\n\n#Judgement #Inspirational #Encouragement #TCLA #AmWriting #Writing #WritingCommunity","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[19,31,18,3],"tags":[41,39,6,44,43,7],"class_list":["post-150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-insight","category-inspiration","category-story","category-writing","tag-criticism","tag-encouragement","tag-gail-lowe","tag-motivation","tag-success","tag-the-corner-lot-authors","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":85,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/perfection-excuse\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":0},"title":"The Perfect Excuse","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"March 21, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"I thought I wanted perfect. I chased it with a list. Until I changed perspective. And found what I had missed. Perfection is the ultimate goal. That's the incoming message, isn't it? - Gail Lowe","rel":"","context":"In "Fear"","block_context":{"text":"Fear","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/insight\/fear\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/jonathan-hoxmark-6VWTC9sWu8M-unsplash.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/jonathan-hoxmark-6VWTC9sWu8M-unsplash.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/jonathan-hoxmark-6VWTC9sWu8M-unsplash.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/writing-can-be-murder\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":1},"title":"Writing Can Be Murder","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"April 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Gail Lowe \u201cHow to Commit the Perfect Murder was an old game in heaven. I always chose the icicle: the weapon melts away.\u201d\u2013 \u00a0Alice Sebold,\u00a0The Lovely Bones I\u2019m figuring out how to commit murder.\u00a0 The method and weapon still elude me although I have decided on the location and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo of a black bird","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/pexels-photo-3927600.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":133,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/cope-its-good-for-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":2},"title":"Cope, It\u2019s Good For You","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"June 28, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"This is my favourite Covidism: A person will come out of lockdown as a hunk, a chunk, a drunk or a monk. The first time I heard it, I laughed. The second time, I put my drink down long enough to step on the scale. Hmm, better rethink my coping\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Insight"","block_context":{"text":"Insight","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/insight\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Blog_Gail_Cope3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":27,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/the-magic-of-setting\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":3},"title":"The Magic of Setting","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"October 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I have entered that time of year in which I become a set designer. - Gail Lowe","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Gail_Oct2020-137x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":100,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/life-skills-for-surviving-crisis\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":4},"title":"Advice From Shark-Infested Waters","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"April 11, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Is anyone ever prepared for a life-altering crisis? I wasn\u2019t. In less than two minutes, an accident altered the course of our lives. It took years of purposeful living to rebuild. The following are lessons from our survival manual. - Gail Lowe","rel":"","context":"In "Fear"","block_context":{"text":"Fear","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/insight\/fear\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/GailSharkCard.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/GailSharkCard.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/GailSharkCard.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23,"url":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/it-starts-with-an-idea\/","url_meta":{"origin":150,"position":5},"title":"It Starts with an Idea","author":"Gail Lowe","date":"June 8, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Gail Lowe Sometimes it drops into your mind complete with ribbon and bow. Sometimes you get a picture, a few words, and your mind has to chase the story down one sentence at a time. It doesn\u2019t matter how it arrives. It\u2019s what you do with it. I\u2019m an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/GailJune2020C.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/GailJune2020C.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/GailJune2020C.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":160,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecornerlotauthors.com\/GailLowe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}